i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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