Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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