Non-Jews are for practice
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I looked at my own cervix.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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