he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
