Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
