we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize