Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
