There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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