Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He has the fingertips of a God
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