i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
zippers are such a cool invention
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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