I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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