I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
