His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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