Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
