It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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