I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
