College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
