He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
