Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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