I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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