Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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