so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
