I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
