Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
only if we run a train.
done.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
