I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
