then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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