His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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