Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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