Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
