maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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