I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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