id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
