so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
