I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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