she takes plan B like it's going out of style
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
