Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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