Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
