What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do herpes really smell.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
