my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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