Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
