one two three fourrrrnication!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
