You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
