The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
