what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
