I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
