Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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