just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
