People with herpes should wear stickers.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
