I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
