$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
