Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
