dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
