I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
