no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
