you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
