Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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