East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
