Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Help. Why am I so naked?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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