why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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