i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
