some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
