I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
