Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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